Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
