I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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