i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
