i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
