Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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