She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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