wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
