I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
