Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize