I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
