I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
