living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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