So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
