he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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