Jerry, you need to find god
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
