Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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