So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
