I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
