I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
