For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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