Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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