it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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