I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Randomize
