Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
