And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
