Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
