Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
