pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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