can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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