your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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