I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wish you could order shots online.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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