your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize