My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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