first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
