I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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