dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize