Sry I called you an 8
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
