community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
