apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
