so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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