TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
