i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
