i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
