There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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