The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i need some magic done to my vagina
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
