So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I forgot how hot balto sounded
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
