First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
