Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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