Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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