So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
