so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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