so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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