yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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