My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
