Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
