People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Never joke about your clitoris.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
