All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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