TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize