I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
