So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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