win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize