I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
