How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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