it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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