Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
