He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
