you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
