We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
