You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
