the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
