These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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