Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
