We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
