We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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