their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
