And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
