But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
